About Me
“If the baby I’m carrying is a boy, I will leave it in here.”
Those are the words I told my partner just before I checked into the hospital.
I didn’t believe I had what it took to raise sons. My parents had 3 sons, and none was sober. They however were somehow able to finance their indulgence. Emphasis on the word ‘somehow’. The fact is, they lived for and by the bottle.
Not wanting to speak for my partner because he could have had other reasons for wanting a son, but I didn’t have the guts. I could see traces of alcoholism in his family too. Among the males. Some kind of brokenness. So, how could I?
The female side looked attractive. They did well. Most of them. So given a choice, I was going to choose a baby girl. And thank God the girl happened!
But can you imagine how lonely the boy would have been?
Maybe no one would have suspected why he had been left behind. Despite all the justification though, I would never have forgotten him. And all that because I had doubts in my abilities to bring up a boy, courtesy of family background.
So Much About Me Many Years Later
That didn’t however stop me from partnering with men in business later in life. Men whom I referred to sons. Men who called me mom. Men whose businesses I named. Helped build. Men who opened up to me as sons would to moms. Emotionally. Spiritually.
So, when I say I’m ‘Building Sons’, I mean it.
But there was a problem in the way I did it. Instead of mothering them selflessly, as soon as their businesses picked I exited. Albeit begrudgingly. Selfishly. Desiring to pursue my own life and make it just as successful. In this I failed miserably. Because I did it for me.
‘Building Sons’ project has nothing to do with me. It never did. And it will never do. It has everything to do with God. Yes, you read that right. Every bit is for His glory. That means building sons is my first priority.
So when my ‘first-born son’ called me selfish, I swallowed it with a gulp of frown. Of course it was a well-intended rebuke. The kind I accept and expect from the son I would have abandoned in the hospital. I revisited the conversation which coincidentally I had recorded. His advise was right.
He said,
“Make it your first priority to build sons, then everything else will work out.”
He went on to mention various projects he engaged in. People whose lives he touched. And people whose lives they had in turn touched. “None of these would have been possible without you. You are the pillar, not a room, the pillar upon which the whole structure stands.”
I immediately knew what to do. I would leave all else and focus on building sons. And that is what #Mom2Sons is all about. The good news is, this is a God-project. Not a me-project. All glory goes to Him. And that’s why it works. Your being here right now, reading this page has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with God.
So what your don’t believe in Him?
A story is told of an old lady who called a radio station begging for food. A wealthy gentleman called back and offered to help. He however told the secretary whom he ordered to deliver the food, to let her know the devil sent it. When the secretary arrived at the old lady’s house, she was surprised that she didn’t care where the food came from. She just went ahead and collected the food. Concerned, the secretary asked how come she didn’t ask.
“Because when God orders, even the devil obeys.”
What to expect from me:
- Platonic relationship between you and me: Let me make this clear. Sexual relations and romance are a no-go-zone even though we are more than friends. It is a promise I made to God and have to keep so this can work right. It is also so that the pillar I am holds you and your brothers up.
- A network to lean on: Picture this; you have a common cause, long-term or short-term, and you need someone to walk with. How about doing so with your brother? I will do the linking, and you will do the rest. And this goes on even in the business and career.
- You go with me wherever I go: Everything I do is for your benefit. So I promise to stay sharp through studying, creating great content, and traveling far and wide in order to gain a wealth of wisdom for you. So help me God!
What do I expect from you:
- Rebuke: Yes, you read that right. If it weren’t for my ‘first-born son’, this version of my website would not exist. And since this is a platonic relationship you are free to correct me too. I would love to hear your version of the narrative.
- Honesty: I would love to see, read and hear the truth all the time. Even when it is ugly. Spit it out and clear your heart. Respectfully of course. (FYI: Truth is one of my values.)š
- Stay in touch: Do exactly that. I may have to look for you from time to time, but it would be nice if we stayed in touch. You and I. One more thing though, I often ask open-ended questions because I believe the answer is deep within you. And with the right questions you will know what to do.